Questioning the Old Testament: Ananias and Sapphia, Life after Death, and Judgment on the Sins of Christians

I wrote a previous post that followed up on a Deeper event at Life Bible Fellowship Church. The event was about the connection between the Old Testament and the New Testament. You can listen to it in its entirety through our podcast, either through iTunes or on our website. The event ended with a Question/Answer time, and I am blogging about some of the questions that we didn't get to. I hit the biggest (and most common) question in the previous post. In this post, I will hit three others.

Assuming that Ananias and Sapphira were believers, did they lost their salvation when they were judged?
In order to demonstrate the continuity between the OT and NT, I mentioned that judgments by God show up in the NT also. Ananias and Sapphira (in Acts 5) are a prime example of this. In the story, Ananias and Sapphira sell their property and give a portion of the price to the church. There was nothing wrong with them only giving a portion of what they received. The problem was that they deceptively said that they were giving the whole price. They were bringing deceit into Jesus' church, and pumping themselves up falsely.
The Holy Spirit allows Peter to discern their deceit, and both Ananias and Sapphira are struck dead instantly.
So, the question is whether or not they "lost their salvation." This begs the bigger question about whether or not a person can lose their salvation.
We all know people who at one time appeared to be Christians. Then, later on in life they live in such a way that makes us wonder if they are truly Christians. Others live in open defiance of God and don't even claim to be Christians any more. What do you conclude about these people? There are three basic options:
1. They were Christians at one point, and now they are not Christians. They "lost" their salvation.
2. They were Christians and they are still Christians. Once you believe in Jesus, nothing can undo that, even if you openly deny believing in Jesus.
3. They appeared to be Christians, but now they have revealed that they are not Christians.
Without making this too long, I believe that the third option is the most biblical. Speaking of "losing" your salvation is a strange concept. We come to God only by his grace. We receive salvation as a gift. It seems odd that, since we did nothing in order to gain our salvation, we could do something that would allow us to lose it. At the same time, it is thoroughly unbiblical to call someone a Christian when they themselves are not even claiming to be a Christian.
So, that said, back to Ananias and Sapphira. In this case, we have to plead ignorance to some extent. The story is not about the nature of salvation. It is about the purity of the church and the seriousness of sin within the church. Ananias and Sapphira may have been true believers who sinned and ended their lives badly. They would not be the first. One of the best kings in the OT (Uzziah) was judged by God and struck with leprosy late in life. Other believers throughout history have made bad decisions that lead to their death. This does not mean that they were sent to hell.
When we talk about Ananias and Sapphira, we might be tempted to say, "Their sin at the end of their life did not undercut their godly lives before then." This is the wrong way to think about the issue. The better statement would be, "Jesus died for the sins of his people. That covers the sins in the past, the sins in the present, and the sins in the future. If you die as a result of a sin that you commit, that sin is not somehow outside of the covering sacrifice of Jesus."

Why does the Old Testament say so little about the afterlife?

The New Testament gives us a good amount of information about what we can anticipate after death. Believers anticipate being "with the Lord" (2 Corinthians 5:8) in a place that is "much better by far" (Philippians 1:23). In Revelation we see scenes of believers in the presence of God, worshiping and enjoying rest and comfort. And the final Christian hope is that our bodies will be raised, just as Jesus' body was raised. We will be given new, redeemed bodies and we will live on a new, redeemed earth in the presence of God forever.
The Old Testament is a bit more fuzzy on its own. In fact, in Jesus' day the Jews were divided. The conservatives, the Pharisees, believed that there would be a final resurrection. The liberals, the Sadducees, believed that there was no afterlife. This debate comes to the forefront in at least two passages (Matthew 22: 23-33 and Acts 23:6-10).
Jesus clearly affirms that there is life after death. There is a resurrection to come. While it doesn't seem quite fair to say that the OT is clear on this, there are hints about it. Job 19:27, Isaiah 26:19, and Daniel 12:2 are some of the most prominent.
So, why was it not more clearly laid out? Again, we have to plead a bit of ignorance. There have been many things that were not revealed to the patriarchs. Then there were many things that were not revealed to the Israelites. Then there were many things that were not revealed to the prophets. Then there were many things that were not revealed to the apostles. There are many things that are not revealed to us. God has always revealed himself, but he has done so gradually. He knows what we need to know in order to trust him.
As a quick note, Jesus seemed to think that the Jews should have known that there was a resurrection. He says that the Sadducees know neither the Scripture nor the power of God when they deny the resurrection. We may think that the OT is fuzzy on this, but Jesus thought it was clear enough for people to understand.

As Christians we still sin. What judgment is there for the sins of Christians?
As part of the Deeper event, I talked about the fact that people in the Old Testament were not saved from their sins by obeying the law. They were not forgiven through the sacrifices. They were saved, ultimately, through faith in God. And each believer (OT or NT) only receives forgiveness from sins through the sacrifice of Jesus. So, all the sins of OT believers were judged when Jesus died for them.
But what about us? For those of us living on the other side of the cross, the case is the same. Our sins, past and present and future, are all forgiven because Jesus died for them on the cross. This does not simply mean that Jesus was judged for the sins that we committed as non-Christians. He also died for the sins that we would (and will) commit as Christians.
This is the glory of the cross. It revealed God's grace and his justice. When Jesus returns there will be a final judgment. Every person's sin demands judgment. We will either be judged for our own sins, or our sins will be judged at the cross. All believers, before Christ or after Christ, are free from the penalty of our sins because Jesus was judged for all of them!

I thought I would include one more somewhat-mystifying question:
Do you mean that we should not put criminals in prison or have our soldiers fight against evil?
This question is odd to me. I am not sure where it came from. My best guess is that this comes as a result of the teaching that God is the ultimate judge. He promises to avenge, so that we don't have to. The context of this point was to show that it is not bad news that God judges sin. It is good news. We don't have to take revenge because God is the judge.
This does not mean that we don't still have laws, punishments, and order in our society. This is an important distinction between the OT and the NT. In the OT, God's people were a nation. They had their own laws, borders, army, and legislative system. In the NT, God's people are the church. In some sense we have our own sphere and domain, but in another sense we live as citizens of our individual cities and states and countries. So then, the question is how we should conduct ourselves as citizens of God's kingdom, but also as citizens of the United States (or any other earthly nation).
Just a quick plug. We did a series called "American Christian or Christian American" at Life Bible Fellowship Church, and we covered this subject through the 10-week series. You can check it out in our sermon archives. The series took place in September-November of 2012.
In short, does God's promise to be the final judge mean that Christians should oppose prisons, war, the death penalty, etc.? The answer is "not necessarily." Christians should not always be in favor of war, nor should we always be in favor of the death penalty or other criminal punishments. God is a God of order. He is not opposed to people looking to set up order. A necessary component of order in a fallen world is punishments and even the instigation of death (through war or other means).
This is messy and we must take each case on its own. In the bigger picture, though, we should differentiate between a desire for order and justice and a desire for revenge and retaliation. As a Christian, I want criminals to be caught and punished. But I am free from agony if this doesn't happen. Why? Because God will judge. As a Christian, I want those who have wronged me to be held accountable and experience appropriate consequences. But I have been given the freedom to proceed in life if they never admit their wrongs and never suffer consequences. Why? Because God is just and he will take care of it.
Christians have a valuable role in society as lawmakers, police officers, soldiers, and judges. But we all proceed in our lives, seeking a semblance of order and justice, knowing that God is the ultimate judge and that this is a sobering and hope-giving reality.

Questioning the Old Testament: The Children Punished for the Parents' Sin

This past Sunday we had our fourth Deeper event at Life Bible Fellowship Church. This one revolved around the connection between the Old Testament and the New Testament. The two key questions were
(1) Is the God of the Old Testament the same God that Jesus revealed?
(2) Is the path to God revealed in the Old Testament the same path that is revealed in the New Testament.
We finished with a Question/Answer time, and I was not able to get to all the questions. For the next few posts, I will be answering some of the remaining questions.
Here is the question for this post:
In reference to Exodus 34:6-7, why would God punish someone for someone else's sin?
Here is the text for Exodus 34:6-7: And he passed in front of Moses, proclaiming, "The LORD, the LORD, the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness, maintaining love to thousands, and forgiving wickedness, rebellion and sin. Yet he does not leave the guilty unpunished; he punishes the children and their children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation."

There are multiple instances in the Old Testament of a person's sins having consequences for other people. Whole families or nations are punished because of the actions of a father or a king or a small group of people. This seems unjust to us. Shouldn't people simply be punished for their own sins? Why should someone else's sin impact me?
There are a few factors that can help us to understand this reality.
1. No man is an island. Throughout both the Old and the New Testaments is the idea that people's actions impact others, for better or for worse. There is not only guilt for individuals, but guilt for nations, guilt for families, and guilt for clans. This is often called corporate guilt.
The fact is that we all know that our actions have an impact on others. This is especially true for those who are in authority. If parents make poor decisions, whether financial or legal or moral, this brings consequences on children. If military leaders make poor decisions, this has a significant (and even fatal) impact on the soldiers under their charge. If kings or presidents make poor decisions, this can have a crippling impact on an entire nation (or multiple nations).
While this might not give us a final answer on why God would enforce consequences on the descendants of those who sin, and why he told Israelites to wipe out entire nations, including non-combatants like women and children, it can help us to understand that corporate guilt and consequences are a normal way of life in a world in which we are all connected to one another.
2. No one is innocent. Often we will talk about the immorality of innocent people being punished for the sins of the guilty. We need to be careful when we say this. We are not as innocent as we think we are. And, often, the people being punished for the sins of others are not innocent at all. Often the nations that are punished have partaken in the sins the bring guilt of their kings. Often the children that are punished have taken part in the sins of their parents. We need to be careful not to assume that the punished group is innocent, just because they are being punished for the sin of their representative.
This, of course, does not solve the problem of a future generation being punished for the sins of their ancestors. Clearly, the future generation is not yet guilty of the sin for which they will suffer consequences. But a wider context for Exodus 34:6-7 might help us with this. God says something similar in Exodus 20:5-6 when the Ten Commandments are given. Here God says: I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, but showing love to the thousand generations of those who love me and keep my commandments.
It is not too big a stretch to wonder if this context speaks into Exodus 34:6-7. Is it reasonable to think that perhaps the "of those who hate me" can be read into the third and fourth generation? After all, this is what he says earlier in the same book.
Whatever the case, though, we must always be careful when we talk about people being innocent. Every person has guilt before God. As much as we may see certain people as relatively innocent, but Scripture continues to point to our guilt. We must be willing to adjust our perspective to that of God.

3. Many punishments have far-reaching effect. If I robbed a bank and went to jail, I would be experiencing a punishment. But so would my wife and children. Without any special punishment from the state, they would experience natural consequences. My financial contribution to the family would stop. My presence as a husband and father would be compromised. There might be public shame that they would experience. The point is that my family might complain, "You are punishing us!" And, in a certain sense, they would be right. My actions would not only impact my children, but also my children's children. Sometimes our consequences necessarily impact people who were not a part of our crime.
It is worth considering the fact that the punishment given by God to these original sinners might simply be a punishment that, by definition, has an impact on future generations. If the punishment was loss of land or poverty or military loss, then this punishment might still be impacting people generations later. Sometimes a nation will lose a war and have the pay reparations. Or they may lose some land. Or they may simply be crushed by the loss of life. Sometimes our actions have natural consequences on our descendants.
4. Representations, for better or worse, is a key part of the gospel. It seems unfair to many of us that one person would be punished because of someone else's sin. But this not only happens occasionally in the Old Testament, this is what has happened to all humanity. Romans 5 teaches that we all are counted guilty because of Adam's sin. We were all in Adam, he was humanity's representative, and when he fell into guilt, we all fell into guilt. If we don't like this, then we need to be careful. After all, Paul goes on to say in Romans 5 that we all gain life through a different representative: Christ. We find ourselves guilty for the sin of a representative (although each of us has sinned enough to earn our own guilt), and we find ourselves justified for the obedience of a representative (even though we had no righteousness of our own). This is core to the gospel. What we see in the Old Testament is consistent with it.

I find the above four points to be really helpful. That said, I recognize that this does not eliminate the fact that this question is tough for us. I don't assume that these points fully resolve the issue. In addition to these thoughts, we must always show a willingness to trust God. Sometimes his actions will make perfect sense to us. Other times they won't. But through his gift of his Son, we have embraced that he is good, he is gracious, and he is trustworthy. This doesn't mean that we don't look for answers, but it does mean that we do so with the backdrop of trust.

Chris Broussard, Starbucks, and Mismatched Conversations

In the News
If you are a sports fan (like me), or even if you aren't, you have probably heard about Jason Collins coming out on Monday. It is news because he is a professional basketball player. His announcement makes him the first active, male, American, team-sports, professional athlete to come out as gay.
Overall, there has been an outpouring of support for Collins, who is a veteran player in the NBA. In fact, ESPN did a special episode on him in their show Outside the Lines.
Here is where it gets interesting (at least to me). On the episode of Outside the Lines, ESPN interviewed Chris Broussard, who is a frequent NBA analyst on ESPN and other sports stations. Broussard was asked many questions, but the one that is getting the most attention is when he was asked what he, as a Christian, thought of the fact that Jason Collins also claimed to be a Christian.
I didn't know about Chris Broussard's Christianity, but have since become aware of the fact that he has been outspoken about his faith, and that he is a big supporter of Christian Hip Hop and urban Christian ministries.
You can watch Broussard's comments below, but I will sum them up here. He did his best to articulate that homosexuality was one of many things that are called sin in the Bible. He worked hard to communicate that it was not worse than other sins like pre-marital sex between heterosexuals, but that it was a sin nonetheless. He said that he had a hard time considering Jason Collins to be a Christian because, by choosing an active homosexual lifestyle, he was living in open rebellion to God. Again, he reiterated that he would say the same about someone who was choosing to practice any other sin.

There are many things that I want to say about this interaction, but I will limit myself in this post to one area. At least one other post will certainly follow.

Mismatched Conversations
Not surprisingly, Chris Broussard has taken an intense amount of heat since his comments on Monday. I don't know if he will lose his job over this (I hope not), but he has been lambasted by many of his colleagues, as well as many bloggers and other people who disagree with him.
I am not taken aback by the fact that many disagree with Broussard. He communicated the basic Christian position on homosexuality (I actually think he communicated it quite well, considering the sound-bite context of his comments). The Christian position on homosexuality is becoming increasingly unpopular. Many people have pointed to the bravery of Jason Collins for coming out. While I do accept the Bible's teaching on homosexuality, I don't discount that there was something brave about Collins' actions. Nonetheless, Broussard's words were also brave. He politely articulated what he knew to be a very unpopular position, and he did so in the public sphere.
Again, it doesn't surprise me that he is receiving backlash. Some call Broussard a bigot or a homophobe. I believe these to be misdirected comments. But more misdirected are the comments that ignore his actual statements and respond instead to statements that he never made.
Some seem to feel the need to remind Broussard that we don't live in a theocracy, and that he shouldn't force his religion on others. Those who make these comments only show that they are not listening very closely.
Broussard made no comment about same-sex marriage. He never said that homosexuality should be illegal, or that Jason Collins should not be allowed to play in the NBA. In fact, he did not initiate bringing his faith into the conversation. He was asked about it.
Here is the key: He was asked if he, as a Christian, thought that a person could be a Christian and a practicing homosexual at the same time.
Broussard's answer was that he does not consider a person to be a Christian if that person is living in open rebellion to any of God's ways. Not foisting his religious beliefs on anyone else, he simply articulated a Christian perspective on the question.
As I said, there are other parts of this issue that I look forward to addressing, but I have one point here: We must be careful to respond to what people are saying, not what they aren't saying.
For someone to remind Broussard that we don't live in a theocracy reveals that they think he said that we should outlaw homosexuality. This is the kind of argumentation and debate that does nothing to help understanding and conversation.
And this is not simply something that non-Christians do to Christians. Let me give another example.

Before Your Remove the Plank in Your Brother's Eye . . .
Other the past number of months I have seen several Christians cry out against Starbucks CEO, Howard Schultz. Their problem with him is that he said that anyone who is against same-sex marriage can take their business elsewhere. What an arrogant and dismissive thing to say!
Except that he didn't say it.

When challenged by a shareholder who had a problem with Starbuck's support of same-sex marriage, Schultz simply communicated that this was the stance of Starbucks, that it wasn't going to change, and that if the shareholder felt strongly enough about it, he was welcome to invest elsewhere. Here is his exact quote:
"If you feel, respectfully, that you can get a higher return than the 38% you got last year, it's a free country. You can sell your shares of Starbucks and buy shares in another company."
Now, it is valid for a person to choose coffee other than Starbucks in response to their support of same-sex marriage. But it is not valid to say that Howard Schultz told anyone who disagrees with him that they can get their coffee elsewhere. When we do this, we do the same thing that we bemoan when it is done to us. We object to something that he never said.

As a Christian, I believe that Christians need to be involved in the public conversation about issues. We need to be thoughtful, gracious, articulate, and considerate. This is what I would love to receive from those who disagree with me. This is what Howard Schultz deserves. And this is what Chris Broussard deserves.
One final word: If you were Chris Broussard right now, you would probably appreciate thoughtful, grace-filled people who were coming to your defense. I am sure this is something that he would appreciate right now from those who understand his position and appreciate his boldness.

Boston Bombings, Kermit Gosnell, and the Role of Anger

I don't consider myself an angry man, but anger was my first response when I first heard about the bombings at the Boston Marathon on Monday. The anger built when it was reported that three people, including an 8 year-old boy, were killed as a result of the act of terror. My oldest son Matthew is 8 years old. Even as I write this post, I feel marred by the sadness and indignation of my emotions. The people impacted by the bombing were not combatants. The whole tragedy seems so senseless. It is hard even to write about it.
Speaking of things that are hard to write about, this week there has been a lot of chatter about Kermit Gosnell, the abortionist who is on trial for the brutal murder of seven live-born children. The gruesome details of Gosnell's abortion practices are stomach-churning. The subject of abortion is not new to me, but I have a hard time reading about the trial. I feel disturbed. I feel angry.
Those of us who are Christians can wrestle with the role of anger in our lives. Many passages warn us against anger:
James 1:19-20: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires.
Ephesians 4:26-27: "In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.
Matthew 5:21-22: You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, "You shall not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment." But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment.
These passages can make anger seem like a open-and-shut case. Clearly, it seems, anger is sinful and it has no role in the life of the Christian.
At the same time, other passages seem to present the idea that anger has a place in our lives. We have Jesus cleansing the temple when merchants have used the Passover to oppress the poor and line their pockets. We also have consistent examples of God's anger and wrath. And we also have the first part of the Ephesians passage quoted above. The Apostle Paul doesn't tell us not to be angry, but not to sin in our anger.
Apparently, this is more complicated that it seems. But if we look to Scripture to guide us on the subject of anger, we can come up with some clear direction.

1. Anger is not necessarily sinful.
If we define anger as an emotion response to something or someone, then anger itself is not sinful. In fact, in certain cases anger would seem to be necessary. The utter lack of anger does not demonstrate that someone has reached some state of peace and spiritual tranquility. Instead it simply demonstrates indifference. It is appropriate to be indignant when terrorist bomb marathon runners, or when a licensed physician dismembers babies, or when any number of other atrocities (domestic violence, child abuse, rape, sex trafficking, etc.) are carried out. When we are angry, it proves that we care.

2. We should not automatically assume that our anger is well-founded.
Sometimes we get angry because of atrocities. Most of the time, though, we get angry because our plans are being thwarted. Someone else gets the promotion we want. Someone cuts in front of us on the freeway. Someone speaks a hurtful words to us. When we are slighted, anger often follows.
We must recognize that most of our anger is not the result of objective injustice and oppression. It is much more often the result of a personal offense. This kind of anger only shows that what is most important to us is . . . us. When we experience anger, we should always pause to check our motives, rather than automatically justifying our anger as "righteous."

3. None of us is the judge.
Sometimes anger is appropriate. That said, anger should not lead us to revenge or vigilante justice. This doesn't mean that it is wrong for us to have a legal system, to have prison, or even to have the death penalty. It simply means that it is not the job of any human being to dole out wrath. Scripture is clear on this. Perhaps the best summary passage on this subject is Romans 12:19: Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord.
Our appropriate anger over murder and rape and acts of terror should not cause us to conclude that we are qualified to take revenge on others. That is not our job. That is God's job. Paul gives us the comfort of knowing that the only perfect judge will sort all of this out in the end. God's wrath and judgment are always sobering realities, but they are also comforting realities. We can set aside revenge because someone else is going to sort things out.

4. We are not superior to others.
When I read about Kermit Gosnell or the Boston terrorists, it is easy for me to think of them as sub-human. Or at least to think of them as sub-Dan-Franklin. Since I have never done those things, I can disregard them as human beings and quickly condemn them to hell in my own heart.
It is not wrong for me to be angry, but it is misguided for me to forget that none of these guilty people need the gospel of Jesus any more than I need it. Russell Moore wrote a post about this reality last week. I confess that I did not enjoy reading it, but I needed it. In the post he reminds us all that the difference between us and Gosnell or the Boston bombers or Osama bin Laden is a matter of degree.
In other words, I must take a moment and remember that there are a lot of good reasons for God, and others, to be angry with me. I must be careful not to use the occasion of someone else's atrocity to make me feel like I am better than them. I am a broken sinner saved only by the sacrificial work of Jesus. We all come to God the same way, through the blood of Jesus.

If you find yourself responding to recent events with anger, you are not alone. You don't need to beat yourself up over it. At the very least your anger simply shows that you care. But you also don't need to assume that your mindset is completely justified. We all must humble ourselves and ask how God will guide us to respond to our anger.
And if we respond rightly to our anger, it will bring us exactly where we need to go: To the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Same-Sex Marriage and the Christian Voice

Okay, I have been through several drafts of this post, so I am going to try to keep it really simple.

Just to contextualize myself, I believe that marriage, by defiition is between a man and a woman. I believe that it is a beautiful and God-given idea. It reflects commitment, oneness, and also the unity-in-diversity that belongs to the Triune God.
So, it is not surprising that I am troubled by arguments in favor of gay marriage. But I am also troubled by most of what I read by people who are opposed to gay marriage. Sometimes I am troubled by poor arguments and illogical thinking. More often, though, I find myself troubled by the tone of the comments made by brothers and sisters in Christ who want to use their voice to speak out in favor of the "traditional" definition of marriage.
If you are reading this as a non-Christian, you are welcome to keep reading. That said, this post is not intended to convince anyone of anything when it comes to same-sex marriage. This post is meant to explore how those of us who are Christians use our voice. And I want to do this by making three simple statements that I think can be helpful to us.

1. Your Voice is a Precious Commodity
God has given each of us a voice. We use that voice through our words, both public and private. In today's society, this also includes our posts on facebook, twitter and blogs. Your voice is a gift. But your voice is also a trust. Don't waste it.
Right now I am not talking about the fact that we need to be kind and considerate with our words. I will talk about that later on. Right now I am talking about the fact that only a few things will define our voice. We all have friends who are always talking about one thing. Maybe it is sports or movies or TV shows. Maybe it is fitness or food or clothing. Maybe it is politics. After a little while, we all begin to label these friend
s. This one is Fitness Gal. This one is Sports Guy. This one is Walking Dead Fan. And this one is Political Guy.
This is even more true of our facebook "friends." Facebook doesn't consist of long conversations. We get soundbites. We get a few sentences to express ourselves to the world. This may sound silly to you, and I don't mean to get grandiose. I know that most of us don't spend a great amount of time on what we post. We just say what is on our mind. Nevertheless, what you post ends up being how you present yourself to the world. You are using your voice.
So, to what will you lend your voice?
While most of us don't spend a lot of time considering what we post and what we say, I think we should. After all, your voice should be precious to you. When you are expressing yourself to the world, you should think about how you are coming across. You can only post about something so many times before your voice becomes consumed with that one issue. This is true of politics, sports, family, health . . . and same-sex marriage.
For those of us who are Christians, this should not be an insignificant consideration. We are given the great task of bringing Jesus' light to the world. It would seem natural that we would want our voices to be consumed with what is most important to him.
I am going to ask you not to stop reading after this sentence.
The core of Jesus' message does not concern marriage. It does not concern homosexuality. It does not concern politics.
Now, stick with me. I am not saying that these things don't matter. I see big implications for how our country ends up defining marriage. But nobody's eternal destiny is determined by where they land of this issue. This doesn't mean that it is wrong to talk about it and post about it. But it does mean that our voice should not be consumed by this issue.
Today is Good Friday. It is important to remember that Jesus did not die so that gay people could not get married. He died to save sinners. Like me. And like you. I want my voice to be all about this message. Gay marriage is not unimportant, but it is not the crux issue either.
Our voice is a precious commodity. We should be very thoughtful with how we use it.

Just Because It's True Doesn't Mean It Need to be Said
As children, many of us were told that if you can't say something nice, you shouldn't say anything at all. At some point I think we decided that adults are exempt from this truism.
Just because something is true doesn't mean that it needs to be said. We all know this. If someone is fat, you don't need to say it. If someone's clothes look strange to you, you don't need to say it. If someone loved a movie and you didn't, you don't need to tell them. When we refrain from speaking the truth, we are not necessarily compromising in a cowardly way.
Here is where all of this is heading. Christians need to talk about gay marriage, but we need to be wise about when and how we do this.
Some Christians go all the way to the other side. Some Christians side with the cultural norm and don't hold to God's Word. Caving to the cultural norms is neither loving nor brave. I am not saying that the way we love people is by agreeing with them when they believe something that is untrue. If someone is morbidly obese, you don't necessarily need to comment. But if they are consistently talking about what great shape they are in, you should not affirm this. They believe something that is untrue and destructive.
I hope you can sense that I am not saying that Christians should not speak up about gay marriage. I think we need to.  I think we should talk to our children, I think we should educate our churches. I think we need sermons and classes and small groups and books and articles to help us tackle this. It is one of the hot topics of our time. I have preached about it in the past, and I don't think we should stop addressing it. I also think that there is an appropriate place for engaging the culture on this issue. There do need to be people who write and speak in the public sphere. The purpose of this writing and speaking should be not simply to champion something that we think is true, but to warn people against something that we think is destructive. You only warn someone if you care about them. This concern should come through in how we speak.
And it is important to remember that the normalizing of homosexuality does not mark a divide between the Christian worldview and the typical American worldview. These worldviews are already at odds. The main chasm between the two is not gay marriage. The main chasm has to do with what we believe about Jesus. Christians believe Jesus to be the once and future king, the risen Lord of the whole world. Nonchristians don't believe this. Our goal is not that nonchristians would embrace the "traditional" definition of marriage. Our goal is that they would embrace Jesus, the only one who can bring forgiveness and salvation and significance.
We all need to remember that it is possible to waste our voices on something that is true. Just because it is true doesn't mean it needs to be said at every opportunity. Wisdom should lead us to timely words.

Our Tone Is Part of Our Content
It is not simply that our tone impacts the content of our words. Our tone is part of the content.
It has struck me that Christians often use Jesus' conduct to justify two opposite (and equally wrong) approaches.
1. Some Christians will say that we should be like Jesus, who was meek and mild and would never have hurt anyone's feeling. The Christians who say this need to read the gospels. The Jesus who would never dare to offend is not the Jesus we encounter through Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. In the gospel we encounter a man who is willing to speak with brutal honesty in order to set people free from the lies that they have embraced.
2. Some Christians will say that we should be like Jesus, who boldly confronted his culture. To this assertion, though, we must ask this question: "To whom was Jesus speaking when he was boldly confronting people?" He was not speaking to Rome. He was not speaking to the "godless" and to "sinner." He was speaking to men and women who claimed to embrace God's Word and God's ways. He gave his sharpest rebukes to those who should have known better. He didn't rebuke the "godless." He rebuked us!
We should not use Jesus' example as an excuse for our own cowardice. We must be willing to speak the truth in love. But we also must not use Jesus' example to justify a harsh and antagonistic tone with nonchristians. Jesus never treated "godless" people as the enemy. He came to seek and save those who were lost. He still seeks and saves those who are lost. This is our calling.
If you are dismissive and condescending and antagonistic toward nonchristians, what are you trying to accomplish? It is not good enough simply to say, "Well, I told the truth." Maybe you did, but this is not a good enough reason to say something. And consider the possibility that you didn't tell the truth. Perhaps what you really said was, "I am tried of all of you who don't embrace the Bible like I do. I wish that you all would either just get on board or get out of the way." If your tone communicates this message, then you are not on-message with Jesus.
If we are going to enter into the hotbed of the public conversation about gay marriage, we must consider our tone. We cannot be careless with our words on the subject. We must demonstrate that we love the people with whom we are speaking. We must demonstrate that God loves them. Just ask yourself right now whether a person's long-term good is more impacted by whether they know that God loves them or whether they know that gay marriage is not real marriage. The answer should be clear.
We must recognize that we are engaging with many people who don't think that the Bible is God's Word. We are engaging with people who struggle to understand why a God of love would tell someone not to do something that seems very natural to them. We are engaging with people who largely take for granted that it is hate speech to say that homosexual behavior or in any way inferior to heterosexual behavior.
Now, I believe that they are wrong. I believe that the Bible is God's Word. I believe this because almost 2000 years ago a man was raised from the dead after predicting that this would happen. And this man affirmed what was already written in Scripture and then entrusted his apostles with writing the rest of Scripture. I also don't think that a God of love would tell us to do what is natural to us. Many of our natural inclination lead us to pain and loss. I also don't believe that it is hate speech to say that a behavior is wrong.
So, I disagree with many people around me. But I still need to recognize where they are coming from. If I am dismissive or biting, I am not helping anyone.

This is much longer than I intended it to be. I apologize for this.
Let's not shrink back from the truth, but let's always remember that our voice is precious. Just because something is true does not mean that it has to be a part of our voice. And nothing should dominate our voice unless it is of utmost importance. In a week like Holy Week, when we celebrate the sacrificial death and resurrection of Jesus, the things of utmost importance are right before our eyes.

Love Is Specific

This past Sunday was week 2 of our Pure Pleasure series through Song of Songs. We covered 1:2-2:7. If you would like, you can watch the full message below.


Pure Pleasure Week 2 from Life Bible Fellowship Church on Vimeo.

As part of the message, I emphasized that the man and the woman in the song are not simply singing about their desire for intimacy in a general way. The woman is not singing, "I want a man to hold me." The man is not singing, "I want a woman who will walk next to me." They are singing about each other. They compliment each other specifically. They are not just devoted to love in some abstract way. They are devoted to one another.
In this post, I would like to spend some time following up on this theme of love being specific. I believe that it has major implications for each one of us, whether we are married or not.

Indebted to Mark Driscoll
In preparation for this series, I listened to all ten of Mark Driscoll's messages from his "Peasant Princess" series through Song of Songs. His messages were excellent and were a great help to my preparation. Here are some phrases that Mark used to emphasize this idea of love being specific:
God didn't give Adam a type; he gave him a wife. God did not line up a group of women before Adam and say, "Which one do you like best?" God gave Adam a specific woman as his wife. If Adam would have said, "Well, I really like tall women with long legs," this would not have changed the fact that Eve was his wife.
Sometimes we can act as if we are victims of our own tastes and attractions. Many men complain that they are not attracted to their wives anymore. It is important to remember that God does not call us to be devoted to our tastes and preferences. He calls us to be devoted to our wives.
You're spouse is your standard of beauty. Because God does not place a value on our devotion of our own tastes, it is important that we don't measure our spouses against some objectified standard of our own making. This goes for both men and women. The grass can always seem greener on the other side. It is a recipe for discontent if you say to yourself, "If only she was thin like her," or "If only he was tall like him." Again, God treasures our devotion to our spouses, not to our fleeting and personal tastes.

Feed the Right Flame
Song of Songs compares love to a fire. The woman says,
   Love is as strong as death,
      its jealousy unyielding as the grave.
   It burns like blazing fire,
      like a mighty flame.
   Many waters cannot quench love;
      rivers cannot sweep it away.
          ---Song of Songs 8:6-7
Our God-given sexuality is a powerful thing. It is like a fire. Fire can be wonderful, and fire can be destructive. The key is that we must feed good fires and quench destructive fires. The good fire is the passionate love between husband and wife. The destructive fires are anything that get in the way of that passionate love. Too often we feed the fires of lust through pornography, fantasizing, and romance novels, and then we find that the fire in our marriages has died down. Many of us need to begin by starving out the destructive fires so that we can focus attention on rekindling the flame in our marriage.

Know Your Spouse
It is not a wife's job to make sure that her husband is attracted to her. But if a wife knows that her husband really likes a certain dress she wears, really likes her hair a certain way, or really likes a certain color of lipstick . . . she should use this information. God has given each wife a specific husband. While she should not feel the burden to make sure that his eye does not wander, she can love him by appealing to him in these ways.
Likewise, it is not a husband's job to make sure that his wife respects him and is attracted to him. But this should not lead husbands to become lazy, disconnected, selfish men who demand respect because "God commands it." If you know that your wife loves certain kinds of dates, or certain activities, or a certain configuration of facial hair, you can look to appeal to your specific wife in this specific way.
If you know that something is meaningful or attractive to your spouse, you can show love by giving them the gift of catering to them. This does not mean that we worship our spouse, but we also should be careful not to disregard our spouse.

Look to Attract Your Spouse
There is a danger in all of us, that we can desire to be attractive in a way that is general instead of specific. Women can desire to be beautiful to men in general. Men can look for admiration from women in general. This is very dangerous. This is often the first step to an affair. A woman begins to get compliments that she is not getting at home. A man begins to feel admired and respected, while he does not feel this from his wife. This is a recipe for infidelity.
A man should desire to be admired and respected by his wife. A wife should desire to be loved and desired by her husband. As you look to make yourself attractive, keep in mind what is attractive to your spouse.
In Song of Songs 1:12 the woman says, "While the king was at his table, my perfume spread its fragrance." In other words, she is saying that she spread the aroma of her perfume not while she was in the public square. She spread her aroma when she was in the presence of her beloved. She is not getting herself all dolled up in order to attract a man. She is beautifying herself in order to make herself attractive to her specific man.
One way to love your spouse is to value what attracts them to you.

Words Have Meaning
Finally, remember that words have the power of life and death. If you know that your wife is insecure about something specific, reassure her about that specific thing. If you know that your husband longs for admiration in a specific way, speak words of respect to him about that specific thing. Compliment the things that make your spouse unique. Generic compliments of affection and admiration are fine, but compliments that zero in on the uniqueness of your spouse carry greater power.




Love is specific. God loves each of us specifically. In marriage, we have the opportunity to mirror his love by giving specific love to our specific spouse.

Happy Valentine's Day.

Pure Pleasure: Song of Songs

This past Sunday I got to kick off a new series at Life Bible Fellowship Church. The series is called Pure Pleasure, and it is a study of the Song of Songs. In the series, we will deal with themes of love, marriage, sex, purity, passion, communication, pursuit, masculinity and femininity, and the gospel. Below is the video from the first message of the series.

It has been enriching to prepare for this series, and I am looking forward to our church experiencing the book. Whether you attend our church or not, and whether you watch the message or not, I hope this post might be helpful.

Here are answers to three key questions that have either come up in response to the series, or have come up in preparation for it.

1. Can't a dating couple experience the joy of sex if they are really committed to each other?
The Bible is clear that sex outside of marriage is wrong. To some, this might seem archaic or unrealistic, but the solution is not to ignore or amend what the Bible says. It is easy for all of us to think that we are the exception. We are not. If God has spoken, it is not our place to say something different. We can struggle and wrestle with it, but we don't get to tell ourselves or tell others that something is okay when God says it is not.
That said, many people will hear this, shrug, and say, "Are you really saying that a committed dating couple can't experience God's good gift of sex?"
Let's break this question down.
Can an unmarried couple enjoy sex? I don't think anyone would argue that an unmarried couple can gain physical enjoyment from sex. All sin holds an appeal. Otherwise we wouldn't be tempted by it. But sin gives us a passing pleasure (Hebrews 11:25). It bring momentary joy and then brings consequences later on.
Can a dating couple really be committed to each other? As my friend Jonathan Martin likes to say, when you date, you commit to continuing to date that person until you decide to stop. The idea of a committed dating relationship is a bit of a myth. If a man is really committed to a woman, he should ask her to marry him. If he is not ready to get married, then he is not really committing to her. The same is certainly true for women.

Sex is the most intense form of intimacy. It is the way that we become most vulnerable before another person. God is not arbitrary when he reserves sex for marriage. He warns us not to waste ourselves and open ourselves up to great pain. When you enter into intense intimacy with other person, and then that other person rejects you or abandons you, it is some of the deepest main that can be experienced.
Sadly, marriage is no guarantee that we won't experience rejection or abandonment. Perhaps one of the reasons why many people see no real difference between a dating relationship and a marriage relationship is that so many people abandon their vows. When a person divorces their spouse, they break a promise. When a boyfriend abandons a girlfriend with whom he has been intimate, he doesn't break a promise. But he exploits her after she was willing to give herself to him.
None of us are the exception. God is wise and he is good. We can trust him. Any pleasure that we will experience in any sinful activity will only bring pain and regret in the long-run.

2. What can a married couple do if their physical relationship has stalled (or stopped)?
I said in my message that some people need to repent because they are having sex when they shouldn't be. The real shocker, though, is that other people need to repent because they are not having sex when they should be.
Polls consistently show that 15-20% of marriages are sexless (meaning they have sex 10 or less times each year). The point is not that married couples are compelled by God to be intimate. The point is that many married couples are not experiencing the intimacy that God intends. Sex is not the only important aspect of marriage, but it almost always serves as a barometer of the relationship. If sex has left a marriage, there is something wrong.
A One-Sided Decision. In many sexless marriages, one spouse is the keeper of the keys. In other words, one spouse wants sex and the other rejects them. The Apostle Paul warns against this in 1 Corinthians 7:3-5: "The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control."
Deeper Issues. As I said, sex is often a barometer. If either spouse is disinterested in sex, it usually means that there is hurt and alienation. If the spurned spouse simply says, "Come on, the Bible says that you're not supposed to deprive me," that will probably not be effective. Deeper issues require deeper healing.
The spouse who is withholding needs to take responsibility. Your pain is not an excuse to sin against your spouse. The spouse who is being spurned needs to take responsibility also. Chances are that you have contributed significantly to your situation. Pursue your spouse, apologize, look to set a new tone in the marriage.
On top of all of this, get counseling. Couples often wait a long time before seeking marriage counseling. Among Christians, there should be no stigma for couples seeking counseling. There is nothing to be embarrassed about. We all need help. Don't ignore issues in your marriage. Fight for it.

3. How does a book like Song of Songs relate to single people?
In all churches, there are unmarried people. Some are divorced, some are widowed, some are young singles, and some are lifelong singles. I can certainly understand how singles could be frustrated when churches seem to gear their ministries toward married couples. This can be a blind spot for churches. The Apostle Paul was very clear that the single life is not a second-class existence for believers (1 Corinthians 7). Churches should address singles and married couples.
So, what in the world does a book like Song of Songs have to say to these people? After all, Song of Songs is about marriage, sexuality, and love. Isn't this just a book for married couples?

Think Bigger. All of us always need to remember that the body of Christ is bigger than any one of us. Not every sermon that I hear is going to have direct, immediate application to my life. I may hear a sermon on a passage about modesty and struggling to see it as directly application to my struggles. But the body of Christ is bigger than me. I can celebrate the fact that the sermon will be a great and immediate benefit to many of my brothers and sisters sitting next to me. In the church, we are not called to be consumers. We are members of one another. If one member rejoices, all members rejoice together (1 Corinthians 12:26).
Trust God's Word. Song of Songs is one of the 66 books in the Bible. If we believe that God has given us the Bible, then we believe that Song of Songs is a divinely inspired gift to God's people. As 2 Timothy 3:16-17 says, all Scripture is God-breathed and useful. "All" includes Song of Songs. It has a lot to say to us about sexuality and about love, and these are issues that impact every single one of us. And even if you don't see the immediate relationship between a certain passage in God's Word and your daily life, this doesn't mean that the connection does not exist. Trust God and trust his Word.
Focus on the Gospel. The whole Bible has one message: The Gospel. God graciously saves desperate people and gives them new life. Song of Songs is about the gospel. While the love song is not an allegory of God's love, all human love is a small picture of God's amazing and unconditional love. When we read of the groom's intense affection for his bride, we are not only instructed in our own marriages. We are also instructed in Christ's deep affection for his bride, the church. When we read of the bride giving herself fully to her beloved, we are directed to God's invitation that we would entrust ourselves fully to him. We need Song of Songs because it is a part of God's story. It is not just good advice for couples; it is a picture of our need for love and it points us to the solution for that deep need.

I really look forward to continuing to walk through this book with the church. As we do so, please feel free to send out questions and points for discussion. It should be a good and lively series.